18 inches is not the size of my penis (or anyone’s penis for that matter). I don’t have a penis.

18 inches is the amount of rain our region has received in May and June so far (so far, because this morning, once again, is torrential rain).

18 inches is much too much.

Much too much.

Read all about it–Freak system is blamed for rain:

A winterlike weather pattern that stalled off New England has been the cause of all the misery since the start of May: our soggy shoes, flooded basements, and submerged streets.

Meteorologists say that the jet stream, the strong river of air 7 miles above us, hasn’t shifted northward as it usually does by this time of year, to allow more summer-like weather to move in from the South.

Instead, a series of low-pressure areas trapped by the jet stream keep drawing up moisture from the Gulf Stream, the warm Atlantic Ocean current, and spitting it back down on New England.

Water is good, vital, important, but too much of a good thing, is almost always a bad thing.

We count our lucky stars–what if it was snowing instead? We’d be buried. Oh, yes, thank god it’s not snow. We’re so lucky. Very luck.

Much too lucky.

But this doesn’t really do the trick. It’s still fucking miserable. I’ve seen glimpses of the sun, but I’m starting to believe it doesn’t really exist. Does it exist? Will you tell me if there really is a sun?

I admire Meryl Streep and I also admire this charming interview by David Toussaint because she sounds just like you would want her to be–wacky and wonderful and one of a kind–Meryl Streep: more dame than Dame:

What’s remarkable about Streep’s persona is her absolute lack of persona. She’s not anyone because she’s everyone, which is a good way of saying she knows who she is. It also helps to understand why she can play just about anything, assuming you scratch the “just about.” During the interview, when someone remarks, as an aside, that Altman likes shooting more pages than listed for that day, so he can say he’s ahead of schedule, Streep murmurs “Oooh,” like she’s finally been let in on a secret that someone like, say, Meryl Streep, would have known all along.

This is perfect–Thank You for Taking Your Baby to X-Men 3:

I enjoyed the movie, but what truly made the night special was that I got to hear the bond between parent and child forming in the shadows of a film rated PG-13 (for intense sequences of action violence, some sexual content and language). I’m sure your kids will take away many thoughts to ponder in their tiny brains, including the credo of the Il Duce-like Holocaust survivor, and super-villain, Magneto, who said, eerily echoing our great president, “If we want Freedom, we have to fight for it.”

This looks like a good ‘un. The guest judge is Charles D’Ambrosio. The winning story will be posted on the EWN blog during the month of December 2006, and will be published in the Spring 2007 issue of Frostproof Review. The author of the winning story will receive $500.

Here’s more info from the EWN blog:

Entry Fee: $10
Deadline: All stories must be physically mailed and arrive with a postmark of August 15, 2006 or earlier (and feel free to start sending as early as today)
Length: Stories must be between 3000 and 8000 words in length

Rules:

No former classmates of either Charles D’Ambrosio or Dan Wickett are eligible to win.

No students, former students, or former instructors of either Charles D’Ambrosio or Dan Wickett are eligible to win.

No family members of either Charles D’Ambrosio or Dan Wickett are eligible to win.
Of the 20 stories selected by Dan Wickett as finalists, at least half will come from non-EWN members (to ensure no pro-EWN member bias on my part, unintentional or not). This caveat relies on having received at least 10 submissions from non-EWN members.

The 20 finalists will be sent to Charles D’Ambrosio with no author names – he will be selecting his winner blindly. Once he’s made a choice – we will verify that D’Ambrisio has never been a student of, or with, the author; nor a former classmate of the author; nor a family member of the author. At that point, we will announce the winner.

The 20 finalist titles and authors will be listed on this blog in the winner announcement post, again, in December 2006.

As this is an EMERGING WRITERS network – only authors who have (or will have) published three books or less as of December 31, 2006 will be eligible to win.
Manuscripts, and checks of $10 (made out to Dan Wickett) per entry, should be mailed to:

Dan Wickett
EWN 2006 Short Fiction Contest
1334 Woodbourne Street
Westland, MI 48186

this week so far:

1) rain

2) more rain

3) a painted house

4) a painted kitchen

5) work

6) more work

slip into the vortex of a myspace addiction, which is numberless because it floats above all numbers.

7) attempt to get some writing done, fail.

8) learn that short story collection is soon going out to publishers.

8a) Get excited.

9) reality check. get scared.

10) get excited again.

11) no, no. You’ve been down this road before, remember? Keep your emotions in check. Remind yourself that collections are a “hard sell.”

12) Okay. Right. but it doesn’t hurt to be a bit excited, right? Doesn’t hurt to want something good to happen?

13) okay, whatever.

14) read friends’ manuscripts.

15) start getting manuscripts for upcoming workshop. Get excited.

16) become overwhelmed. get excited agian. become overwhelmed again. get excited again.

17) rain.

18) more rain.

19) break glasses and have to geekly wrap them in tape to keep them together.

20) buy a new digital scale. This is a big mistake.

21) make optometrist appointment.

22) rain.

Could not stop thinking of this painting–Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose–today. It’s one I love. It’s one we all love. I mean, come on! You love it, right? I saw it up close and personal at the MFA in Boston a few years ago at the John Singer Sargent exhibit and my love expanded like the universe.

It’s on my mind, probably, because June is supposed to be my favorite month. I think of the fireflies. Running on the beach. The flowers. The birds singing.

But so far, not so much. We have, once again, torrential rain. Days and days of it. I just had to turn the heat on it is so damp and cold.

My mood plummets.

But then there is this painting again. The young girls and the magic of the light.

And then there is also this really cool story by Kelly Link: CARNATION, LILY, LILY, ROSE

Please check out this very cool project brought to you in part by the excellent Joe Young–Baltimore Interview, a blog dedicated to profiling arts people in the Baltimore area.

If you are planning on being in or around Cambridge on July 7th, you’ll want to check out The Night Train Release party. Here’s the blurb from Rusty‘s blog:

Come hear Nadine Darling, Issue VI; Xujun Eberlein, Issue V; Jim Nichols, Issue VI,read at the Dire Literary Series on July 7th, 2006. The event will be held at the Out of the Blue Art Gallery in Cambridge MA. We’ll be co-featuring with local poet and publisher Doug Holder. The festivities begin with the annual Dire BBQ at 6:00 PM, music with Cheryl Devitt at 7:00 PM, with readings beginning at 8:00.

I am hoping to attend and very much looking forward to it.

Got this announcement from my dear friend, Jordan Rosenfeld:

Rebecca Lawton and I are teaching a series of online classes based on our forthcoming book: Creating Space: The Law of Attraction for Writers & Other Inspired Souls (Summer, 2007). The first 4-week session begins in September, but we are taking sign-ups now through the Creating Space blog.People who participate in the online classes will also receive a discount on our annual Creating Space Retreat, TBA.

I would urge you to look into the workshops, if you are so inclined. Jordan introduced me to the law of attraction and I am forever grateful because it has changed my life–writing and otherwise.

So I had been hearing about myspace from lots of folks who told me it was a great place for writers to find a community, promote their work, etc. I was skeptical because I’d heard all of the same news stories the rest of you have heard about pedophiles and teenyboppers, etc. etc.

But I’m willing to admit I may have been wrong and so I joined it anyway. So far, so good. Anyway, here is my page and if you are on myspace, please let’s be friends: www.myspace.com/myfanwycollins.

And if not, and you’re a writer, maybe think about it as another free avenue for promotion.

p.s. it must be said, I do feel about thirteen after posting this plea for friendship. Lord help me!

So, I’m going to the Tin House workshop (Dorothy Allison is my workshop leader. I heart her!) this summer and was just on the web site and noticed they updated the seminar and lecture schedule. Looks like it’s going to be great. Am most excited. Look at those readings, those lectures!

And I see that Gil Dennis is going to be there speaking about his finding the story workshop (which I took at Squaw Valley last year and it was amazing–from it I wrote an essay which is going to be in Cream City Review next spring).

Ellen Meister, whose debut novel will be released in two months, has just released her gorgeous new website: www.ellenmeister.com. Take a look and make sure you sign up for her newsletter.