There was a little girl dressed in a costume in the check out line today. She was cute and said to her mother, “No one will recognize me.”
Then she turned to me and took off her mask and I said, “It’s you! I had no idea it was you.”
She turned back to her mother and said, “See? I told you.” The mother then attempted to engage me in conversation about how ridiculous it was that the woman who ran the changing room gave her a hard time that her daughter wanted to wear the costume out of the store.
Apparently, the attendant said, “I’ll get in trouble.”
The woman told me she said back, “I’ll take the trouble on.”
Really? Will you? So does that mean if this elderly woman is threatened with losing her job, you’ll lose your job instead? She just could not wrap her head around why her daughter, who really wanted to wear her costume, maybe shouldn’t have been allowed to because it was against the rules and could possibly cost someone her job.
So she let her daughter do what she wanted to. In fact, she stood up for her daughter doing whatever she wanted to no matter what it cost anyone else.
Her daughter is in third grade and she already believes she is more important than the people who serve her. This is not good.
I see this kind of thing all the time. The children are like little gods. They walk into a waiting room with their parents and the children sit down and the parents stand beside them because there is no other chair. Even worse, the parents let their children continue to sit even when elderly or infirm people enter the room and then must crouch against a wall (though I offer my chair and so that doesn’t last long).
Children, you are NOT more important than anyone else. You exist along side us all. You may not wear your costume out of the store. Wait until you get home. Get used to waiting. It’s good for you. Really. I promise you that it will only make you a better person. I have not lied to you yet.
“Children, you are NOT more important than anyone else.” Ours were important, but not the end all or the be all. Now, they are 51 and 49 and our best friends as we are theirs.
Therein lies the rub, right, GC? You set boundaries and teach lessons and raise human beings who maybe don’t appreciate you in the instant but who do appreciate you for a lifetime.
Exactly. We are very lucky people whose adult children are very close to us. There was a time however when …
A whole lot of people who feel entitled are doubling down on that feeling with their children. Your point about how they act as though there is a servant class is so right, and so very sad.
It’s devastating to witness, eh? And I must say I honestly did not intend to judge this woman’s parenting. I would have just ignored her had she not tried so diligently to get me on her team.
We sometimes experience the opposite. Our daughter–who is only four–will whine or beg for some special treatment, and we’ll stand our ground. Then a worker or another patron will say, “It’s okay,” and try to make us give in.
Justin, Yes! I’ve had the same thing happen. It’s so frustrating.
i hope you said something to the woman, like, “i don’t know, sounds like that woman was just trying to follow the rules and not get fired. I’m kind of on her side.” You probably did. I think the mistake most of us make is that we let things go without saying anything–often we don’t come up with something to say until later when it’s too late. It still bothers me, years later, that i laughed at some awful “joke” instead of showing my disgust. I was young then, but I will never forget it. Since then, I’ve tried very hard to never let that happen again.
I didn’t say anything, Mary. I was sort of taken aback and her little daughter was right there. I often have a hard time of thinking in the moment.
We raised two children, now 51 and 49. They were important to us (not to the rest of the world) but not the end all or be all. My relationship with MiMi, and hers with me, came first, still does.
I totally understand. Even though, as i said, I tell myself to say something, it rarely happens that way. I always think of the thing I should have said much later, when I’m fuming. And since I hit about 50, there is no longer such a thing as thinking in the moment any more. Only thinking through a fog…..
It is nothing new, it has always been so.