he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not
I believe I am borderline OCD and have been all my life, because of this and other parts of my anxiety riddled brain, I’m addicted to such things as horoscopes and tarot readings.
In times of high anxiety, I read my horoscope every day (in several different sources) and sometimes will get out my tarot cards do reading after reading after reading. I liken this to plucking the petals off a daisy or twisting the stem of an apple while repeating the alphabet to see which letter it would pull out on and that would be the first letter of the name of the boy who loved me. And don’t step on a crack or you’ll break your mother’s back (I still avoid cracks).
You know the drill.
Anyway, today’s horoscope (I’m Scorpio) seems especially apt for how I’ve been feeling lately:
It’s difficult for you to find relief when the waves of thoughts and feelings just keep rolling in. Now that wordy Mercury has entered the watery world of Cancer, you are more able to connect with others by sharing your emotions. However, don’t expect the intensity to dissipate, even if it becomes easier to express your heart for the next few weeks.
My other obsession of late is to hang out on my submission page at duotrope (which if you use their service, you should give them a donation damnit!) and clicking through on all of my pending subs to see if there is any updated data on the particular markets.
There are many, many other obsessions of this sort, too tawdry to list, but suffice it to say that I’m in a state of high anxiety and I don’t even know why.
However, I’ve had one major success in the past years–I no longer do the sign of the cross every time I think about death. That was a hard one to give up but I seem so much less freakish now. Sort of.