I am starting to wonder if my politeness isn’t a form of passive-aggression. Just now I nearly got my arm ripped off and was pulled down my VERY icy driveway when I was bringing my dog out to pee. The reason was that my neighbor’s dog (off leash) was in our yard taking his daily poo (oh, sometimes he blesses us with his shit twice or three times a day!) and my dog lost it and tried to get to him (which is his right our yard being his “territory”). Anyway, after my neighbor heard me screaming (in pain! I now have a huge bloodblister on my thumb), she came out and yelled to her dog FROM HER PORCH.

Oh no, that’s right dear. Don’t trouble yourself by coming out in the snow to collect your crapping beast from my yard. That’s right, just call to him gently from your porch. Oh no, that’s okay. The pain will go away at some point. Don’t bother yourself with the fact that my dog was on a leash and yours was not and certainly do not trouble yourself that he was in my yard because, after all, the world is your oyster and I am merely here to serve you that oyster. That’s right! Crap away, good neighbors! Come one, come all and take a dump in our yard!

So when her dog finally left she called over FROM HER PORCH, “Sorry Myfanwy” and what do I say?

“That’s okay!” (god, I hate myself sometimes)

And then I stormed into the house and screamed my head off (so loudly that my poor dog actually started to shake! oops!).

Why does she think it’s okay that her dog come and take a crap in my yard every day? Well, probably because I have never said anything about it. Instead, I shovel up the poo and throw it into the woods next to their yard but goddamn it I’m polite about shoveling and throwing. I’m nothing if not polite!

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