In 2015:
- My child continues to grow and dazzle me.
- More and more frequently I find myself stealing socks from my son’s drawer when my own sock drawer is filled with socks with holes in them.
- My husband and I lament how x or y in our house or our cars needs fixing, replacing, repairing.
- We sit by the fire as a family and feel grateful for all that we have.
- Our dog chews up something that he shouldn’t. We gently scold him but then laugh when he can’t see us because he’s funny.
- Someone visiting for the first time gets locked in the guest bathroom because we forgot to tell them about the troublesome latch.
- My third book, THE BOOK OF LANEY, is published.
- Some people read this book and like it and tell me why and I am grateful.
- At least one person takes it upon her/himself to hate this book after reading three pages and then write a scathingly ambiguous (because didn’t read the whole thing) review of the book on Goodreads.
- I feel horrible about this review for far longer than I should completely giving it more power than all of the nice things that people say.
- I come to my senses because fuck that person.
- I feel good!
- I feel bad again.
- I feel good!
- I move on.
- I write something that pleases me.
- I wake up feeling well-rested.
- I read what I wrote again after a few months and I hate it.
- I revise.
- A few weeks later, I read the revised piece and am pleased again.
- The next day I read it again and hate it.
- I suffer several hours of crippling self doubt. I get on the elliptical and watch The Good Wife. One of Alicia’s clients has worse problems than I do and so I am uplifted, once again, by the magic of television.
- My child loses another tooth and inches into the next stage of his childhood.
- There is horrible news of injustice and suffering. I am filled with impotent rage.
- Someone sends me an irritating email and I fume over it.
- Something beautiful happens.
- I wake up and wish I could stay in bed.
- I cry.
- At bed time, I lie beside my son in the dark and tell him a story about a star that wanted to be a boy and a boy who wanted to be a star.
- The love that I didn’t think could grow any larger, grows.
- The time between winter and summer and summer and winter continues to shrink.
- We wake up breathing.
* I’ve been previewing my coming year for the past few years but, inevitably, someone reading it doesn’t get it and thinks I’m reviewing my year. This is the year I decided to add an asterisk so that maybe those who think I’m reviewing will notice the asterisk and read this note. Anyway, if you’ve made it to this point, welcome!
This is amazing. xoxo as are you xoxo
Thank you, my friend! xoxo
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